I've realised that I'm not as comfortable I think I could be about surviving this loneliness. Why don't I know for sure whether I'm lonely or not? I hate days which make me wake up to this note. And all this thinking, it's going to poison me one day.

My brother and I haven't spoken for about a week now. And I'm not sure how I feel about it. Why is everything suddenly becoming about surviving every other thing?

I think I should go read the newspaper and distract myself from this pointless pondering.